malkav

Until a few weeks ago, I had been dreading my birthday. I just felt so old. I know objectively I'm not really so old (I'm close to 30), it just feels like... I don't know, like I'm so behind everyone else. I feel like by this age I should have a steady job and be established, not still in school.

But then the bf started talking about it, and planning ways to make it special for me, and now I'm looking forward to it. He's so sweet to me. I am very lucky.

School starts back up on the 20th... I'm pretty nervous about it. Last semester was really hard, though I did manage to get all As. Here's hoping I can do it again.

I've been spending a lot of my time in SecondLife... it's so fun. You can create anything, just about, and the main limit is your imagination. And there's so much content to explore. I could explore for years and never see all of it.

That, and I'm excited about something: Hello Kitty Online, the Hello Kitty MMORPG, is just about ready to go into open beta. You can go to SanrioTown and get a Hello Kitty email address for free, and that's also how you sign up for the MMORPG. The client is now available for download, so if you want in, I'd suggest picking it up in anticipation of opening day. Oh, and there's file sharing! You can upload files for your friends to download! You can find me there as jkitten (at) Hellokitty (dot) com.

Much love to you all! <3

So, my son won his school's third-grade spelling bee and went on to district, where he placed third. The word that tripped him up was 'rind'. As my mother put it, he'd spelled much harder words in practice, like 'naive,' but he'd just never seen or heard of rind.

He's a peach. His new catchphrase is, you'll say 'I love you,' and he'll say, 'Right back atcha!'. And he'll point his fingers like guns at you. He turns 9 on Christmas Eve. Where does the time go?

As for me, this semester has been gruelingly difficult. I just have to make it through this week, finals week, and it'll be over for a little while.

Really what's made it so difficult is Japanese class. And I'm taking Japanese for two more semesters. I vacillate between being thrilled I'm learning something that I find so interesting, and wanting to kick my own behind for taking something so hard. Of course, some of the difficulty I couldn't have foreseen: my teachers are -really- difficult, and we move at a faster pace than most language courses. So I couldn't have helped that.

I need to find some scholarships, STAT. I won't really go into my money woes, but they're there... I don't have trouble making the bills, but I am racking up a lot of long-term debt. What keeps me from feeling poor is that I do still have a nice working computer and internet connection, and my "job" on SecondLife leaves me lots of fake money to play with.

I do worry that I'm becoming a Want Machine. Everything I see lately, I Want. I didn't used to be this way... I can remember many times, asking the ex husband not to buy me things, and opting to save rather than buy shiny toys. But ever since I lost the house I cling to "things," and it's really not healthy. The bf says he's seen this a lot in people who've had heavy losses, and I don't doubt it's related. But I need to get over it.

I fell and bruised my tailbone a week ago today... it's slowly getting better, but I sit on my tail end too much. :P

The bf and I are still wildly happy with each other. Often, I feel guilty for not having the love woes and concerns of other people... the rest of the time, I'm just very grateful. I do hope I never start taking the bf for granted.

Crazy-wise things are pretty groovy. I still do exhibit many symptoms of depression, but I don't feel very depressed at all, which is a big improvement. And tons of improvements -have- been made in doing my homework and studying for tests and such. I have meltdowns much less frequently, and I miss my pills less frequently as well. I can't even remember the last time I was manic... probably over 6 months ago, which is a new record.

Anyway, that's a probably too in-depth rundown of what's going on in my life. Hope all of you are doing well.

EDITED TO ADD: Just changed my journal's theme and updated my links.

Forgot to update to say: the guy who rear-ended us gave us fake information, so now we can't get the bumper fixed. Ass.

So as of yesterday I can eat properly again, so of course today we were rear-ended. :P

It's not as bad as it sounds-- it was really scary of course, and a soda exploded in the front seat, but other than some minor body damage to the car everything's okay.

It wasn't really the guy's fault, though-- police started zooming toward us very quickly so everyone slammed on their brakes, but the guy behind us's brakes just weren't as good I guess, and with his brakes screeching loudly, he hit us. It was scary more than anything else.

The bf is on the phone with the insurance people now. Whee!

I went over to my parents' house this weekend to help them with their basement. By the time we got there, they were temporarily out of things to do so they put me to work going through a bunch of boxes I've been storing in their garage since I lost my house.

It was a good thing to go through that old (7 years maybe?) stuff. Reminds me that a lot of the stuff I lost wouldn't really mean anything to me anymore. Because a lot of the stuff was just not of interest to me now. Old gaudy jewelry, clothes that don't fit, VHS tapes, chipped figurines, etc.

I did come away with about 6 boxes of stuff though, so that's nice. DVDs I thought I'd lost, old pictures of Seth, books, etc.

Not a lot new, but I felt like posting, so here I am.

Learning katakana is a lot of fun... it reminds me of how excited I was when I first learned to read. (I can still remember it!) I would read road signs out loud to my exasperated father while he tried to drive (Dad, it says speed limit 55 mph. But you're going 60!), I would read cereal boxes while I ate, I read the newspaper, I read anything I could get my hands on.

I've added people to my LJ who use Japanese in their postings and I read them excitedly. The other night I was reading an LJ post and working out the mora (syllables, basically) like: "Ni-n-te-n-?? -- gasp! That's Nintendo!" And it was so fun. (The ?? is because I don't know the kana for 'do' yet, so I had to guess.) I know 20 kana so far, and we learn them pretty quickly.

Had my first Oral Interview exam in Japanese class. I think it went okay, but it could have gone a lot better. I'm really bad at numbers, and so every time they asked me a question involving numbers I'd freeze up. I also called a magazine a dictionary, and used present/future tense when I should have used past tense. In addition to saying "uhhhhhh" a lot.

I expect I'll get a B, which should make me happy but really I'm just disappointed that I try so hard and still can't make an A. Ah well. It's still possible that I could squeak an A out of the class, but I just don't see it as highly probable.

Konnichi wa!

In my last post I was upset about the purse and worried some things might still have been taken out of it (like the Vicodin for my tooth!) but thankfully, nothing was taken, not even my Palm Pilot or IDs.

Anywho, I wanted to post something more upbeat, so here it is:

I've discovered the neatest community on LJ: add_foreign_ljs
Basically, people go there who are looking for LJs posted in a certain language, and also to say, "Hey, my journal is in, say, Spanish, come take a look!"

I'm studying Japanese, so I've posted there looking for Japanese journals. (I also posted there to say, Hey, my journal's in English, so feel free to check it out.)

I think it's a great idea. I love how helpful internet people can be. :)

I can't believe this month has just gotten worse.

I left school, in a good mood but really sleepy, got home after the long drive... and realized I left my purse on campus.

I'm waiting to hear from campus security if it's been turned in. :-/

UPDATE: It wasn't turned in, but was still where I left it. Phew! Heading back to campus to pick up the purse.

My air conditioning is still out (no one's even started working on it, grr) but overall I'm feeling tons better.

The first reason is because I saw a dentist today and got my tooth looked at. The dentist was pretty sure at first it was an abscess, but it just turned out to be a really nasty infection. My whole cheek is swollen up, very visibly. But I got pain/antiswelling meds and antibiotics, so I'm happy. I don't hurt, and soon I'll be able to sleep on my right side again, yay!

The second reason is a bit of perspective. I called my mom to talk to her and she told me about what happened to -her- this weekend: There was a lot of flooding because of the hurricane, so she asked my dad to go down and check the basement-- there was several feet of -raw sewage- in the basement.

They lost hundreds of books and CDs, etc... I'm not sure if the computer is ruined or not but I would bet it is. My grandmother lost all her love letters from her dead husband... that part makes me so sad. I feel so terrible for her.

My mother started crying while she was talking to me, saying how she'll never get the sight out of her head, and upset about all the things they lost. I'm going over this weekend to help them clean up.

So yeah, as bad as this last month has been, -that- could have happened. So I'm feeling like maybe things aren't so bad.

So, we shouldn't have joked. The air conditioner stopped working.

So my water's back on, and what should happen just as soon as we get it back on and everything can return to normal? Tooth pain. Really really bad, have-to-eat-mushy-foods, constantly-hurting tooth pain.

The bf and I are starting to joke that when the tooth is fixed, our house will be hit by a meteor. Jeez.

First the brakes on the car went out. That put me out of school for 3 days, and taking the 2-hour-long train/bus ride to school for several days beyond that. But eventually it was fixed.

The very next week, I got sick, and was sick all through Labor Day weekend and beyond. I missed a day of school, but eventually I got better.

The very next week, today, I started my morning just fine, ate breakfast, but then suddenly felt sick and threw up a couple times. I felt really shaky and weak all day.

I came home, and my water was turned off. Mind you, it isn't because I didn't pay a bill-- it's the landlord's bill to pay. So I called the landlord, who said he's not having any bill troubles, and is all paid up. But he won't call the water company, he says, because he's about to go into the hospital. (I didn't catch what for, but he mentioned being 'too young to be in a wheelchair.')

I call the water company for him, and they say the owner called to cancel services. So I call the landlord back and he says he absolutely did not, and to 'have them call' him.

So I call the water company back, and they say first of all, they won't make outbound calls under any circumstances. Furthermore, there's a 2053 and a 2053 REAR (I live in a separate building to the rear of 2053). And they only have a 2053 on file-- apparently 2053 and 2053 REAR shared water. But the owner of 2053 is the one who called to cancel service, not my landlord.

I call my landlord back to tell him this, but he's already left.

The only way for this to get fixed is for my landlord to call and set up a new service for 2053 REAR. Which he can't do because he is now in the hospital.

So now I'm stuck without water for an unspecified amount of time.

I hate everything.

UPDATE: Landlord eventually was able to call. Service will be back on tomorrow. I hate everything slightly less.

Today the bf and I tried this. (Despite the link location, they do not contain caffeine.)

We both agreed orange juice was far too sweet with it, though I felt the OJ was similar to chocolate in taste.

Grapefruit was -far- too bitter, like a pill you let sit on your tongue for too long.

Lime, for me, was far too sour-- my berry had worn off. The bf's lime was delicious for several minutes before turning sour for him as well.

Overall, it lasted about 15 minutes. We should have already had the fruit cut and peeled by the time we put the tablet in our mouths, because taking the time to cut and peel the grapefruit and lime meant less time tasting and more time hurrying through menial tasks.

Have any of you tried this stuff?

I'm not at school today; the bf and I are getting over colds... he's our driver, and he practically dies anytime he does anything that involves getting up, so he couldn't walk all over campus like our schedules call for.

I'm a lot better than I was, and mostly feel human again. But he's just not getting well as fast as I am. I attribute it to the days I took Nyquil and stayed in bed all day. But he hates how Nyquil makes him feel so he refuses to take it. I can't blame him-- I'm the same way about some kinds of medicine.

So right now I'm downloading time travel movies. I have a strong fondness for all time travel movies, even the bad ones. Anybody know some good ones they can recommend? Off the top of my head, I can think of: Somewhere in Time, Time After Time, The Philadelphia Experiment (which I've not seen yet), The Final Countdown (haven't seen), um, and that's what's on the top of my head.

Good time travel books I like include "Charlotte Sometimes" (a young adult book, haven't read it in years) and The Time Traveler's Wife (SO GOOD).

Oh, and movies where someone is frozen and is woken up in the future are also great. Like um, Late for Dinner, another movie I've not seen in years. I wonder if it stands the test of time, pun intended?

I'm a little nervous about missing school. I'm having a hard enough time keeping up in Japanese without missing days. :-/ Plus, the largest percentage of your grade in that class is not from tests, but from daily grading. You get graded on things like if you're there (if you're not you just get a 0), if you're on time, if you spoke in all Japanese that class period, how quickly you could rattle off phrases, how many errors you had in your speech. It's very stressful for a 1001 class!

Dream behind a ( cut tag )

Well, I guess I won't keep rattling on and I'll end this post. It was great getting responses to my last one. Thank you so much for reading and replying... made me feel loved. :)

I forget what brought me to LJ today, but it occurred to me I hadn't updated in an awfully long time, and so, er, here's an update! :P

Lessee, um, Seth is 8 now, and he's obsessed with Legos and Pokemon. Yes, Pokemon is still around-- I was surprised to hear it.

I'm still madly in love with the bf, and I get the impression the feeling is mutual. :)

I'm in my 2nd semester at my 4-year school, though the first semester hardly counts-- I only took 6 hours. This semester I'm taking a full 12 hours, and 5 of those hours are Japanese. Yeesh. I still vaguely resent the bf at times for talking me into taking Japanese instead of something a heck of a lot simpler. But it is what it is.

Has everyone watched Dr. Horrible? If not, I highly recommend it. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It's way cooler than you would think. Brainchild of Joss Whedon, maker of Firefly, Buffy, and Angel. (Also the upcoming Dollhouse.)

I'm on a diet... have lost 10 pounds so far. And it's not a crazy diet, either... it mostly involves portion control and, to some extent, lovely lovely Lean Pockets.

I got a WiiFit... just have to wait for the Wii I ordered to arrive... should be a few days. I'm wildly excited.

How is everybody else doing?

I have this recurring nightmare where I'm laughing or coughing or something, and I wet myself. Then I'm terrified people will find out, and trying to hide it. Last night I dreamt I was laughing and it happened, and at first I thought, "Oh no!" but then I thought, "Wait a minute... I have this dream all the time. There's no way this is real." And from then on, things went much better.

I woke up at 6 am and got the writing bug. I promised myself that if I got up, I'd work on a story I've had percolating. Then I thought a bit more about it, and decided said story was lame. Bleh.

Life is still overall good. Had the first part of a root canal yesterday, so my jaw's a little sore, and I'm nervous about whether or not the bf is going to be hired at H&R Block because we're having money shortages, but other than that it's all going well.

Accidentally only took 40 of 60 Geodon mg last night. I don't think it's related, but the bf had to wake me up -five- times from nightmares. I can't remember what they were, thankfully.

Last night as I got home I felt a little manic, but I got right to sleep so I'm pretty sure I wasn't. Then today I've been active like mad, so it's again possible that I am, but some of the usual symptoms aren't there. However, the symptoms that are, are consistent with a moderate mania and also, that I think I caught Jeff's cold. Blast. :P

Things are still good... I'm very pleasantly surprised. I'm up a little early again, but that certainly won't kill me.

Today's a game day, so I'll be rp'ing in RL with my gaming group. We run a homebrew campaign of the bf's design that runs on the HERO system. I play a very strange nature god. No kidding. We've also got a Batman-like guy that uses a laser sword, an Indian Jones knockoff that got turned into an amulet, a magic-using girl, and a mad scientist. It's a fun group.

Yesterday I got to go to a book reading in SecondLife, and met some really cool people. I'm constantly surprised by the number of things you can do there, and everything worth doing is free.

Come January, I'll finally have my AA degree, and I've put in an application for the 4-year college I want. I'm nervous, but excited.

Things are definitely looking up.

Wednesday I came home and passed out from exhaustion, but that night I at least wasn't depressed.

Thursday I got up at a reasonable hour, didn't need to take a nap, and wasn't depressed that evening. I needed to head to bed fairly early, but not drastically so.

So, things are looking up. :)

Oh, and I woke up at 4 am this morning.